Expressing My Love Of Nature

The sea, sky, and all living creatures are transient. It is only the land that endures. It is the land that sustains us.  I am creating nature based images to provide an escape from the everyday and foster a connection with the importance of the land to mans well-being.

When Brian Was A Boy – 16×20” – Oil on canvas

Rather than provide a mirror to what is easily seen, I am trying to represent ordinary scenes in an expressive way to capture a fleeting mood or impression. Not to explicitly say what I feel, but to allow the viewers imagination to interpret the work, and form a connection to a fleeting thought or emotion they may have felt once before. I want them to sense the importance of the land, and how man needs nature to survive; not just physically but emotionally as well.

“I don’t paint the landscape. I paint the spirit disguised as a landscape.”

I am trying to represent the poetry within a place which the viewer can connect with through the human spirit, more so than the intellect.  It is a form of visual storytelling to communicate with them where words fail. You can speak the words to someone and have them understand, but through a poem or painting you can speak in a language people can feel in the depths of their soul. Because I want to speak on a more emotional, intimate level, my paintings are in a smaller format to foster a closer, quieter conversation. I don’t have a loud personality, so why should my paintings be any different? 

About Roberta Murray

Since childhood art has been my window into freedom – a private retreat which I could escape into. Painting, drawing, and photography were a means for me to create my own world; a world that could be whatever I wanted it to be, real or not. My other passion since childhood is nature. I lived for trips to the mountains, picnics by the lake, stays at family ranches, a trip to the zoo. What I wanted most was to see wildlife or be around animals – dogs, cats, horses, cows, you name it. I loved them all. Bears were, and still are, at the top of the list.

 I have spent the majority of my life living in the country, surrounded by nature, wildlife, and domestic animals. The connection I had with the wild critters of the land was broken when we moved to Red Deer, Alberta in 2018. Though I always knew how important nature and the outdoors was to a persons wellbeing, the move to a city has really made how important wild, open spaces is to a persons soul. 

Mary Oliver said it best:
“Ordinarily, I go to the woods alone, with not a single friend, for they are all smilers and talkers and therefore unsuitable. I don’t really want to be witnessed talking to the catbirds or hugging the old black oak tree. I have my way of praying, as you no doubt have yours.”

Today, the opportunity to view wildlife is even more thrilling and important for my sense of wellbeing than ever before. Some have stated I get as giddy as a child in a candy store, who has just been told they can buy as much as they like, when I see wildlife. It’s true. The thought of our wild places and the creatures who live there being threatened, or disappearing, is of great concern. 

The Artist And The Ego

A recent rejection was balanced with some glowing reviews of my art. This yin and yang of life lead me to ponder the roll of ego in an artist’s life.

Dave Ames said: “Trash and treasure are two sides of the same coin. Low self-esteem produces one, and public adulation the other.”

I am genuinely surprised by positive reactions to my work, and am so grateful when another person forms a strong enough connection to my work to want to purchase it. I normally don’t take rejection personally and can generally separate myself from my art, even though it is such a personal part of my inner being.

Ego is defined as “a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance”. Self-esteem is defined as “confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect”.

When talking to others about my surprise at positive critiques, I was asked how I keep working if I don’t expect others to like my art or if I didn’t think it was good. It’s not that I don’t think my work is good, exactly, but more that I’m unsure of how it measures up in the big scheme of things. When I begin a painting, I don’t start it with the public in mind. I don’t start it thinking about the ultimate sale. It starts from a deeply personal part of me. There is a need to create this story that end results are unimportant. It doesn’t even matter at this stage if it’s any good. It’s all about the story and how it relates to my spirit. At this stage there is no separation from self.

When the painting is finished I will usually, though not always, put it out there for others to see and judge. I am able to separate myself from the work. When praise comes in it is because that person connects to the story of the painting, not because I have superb painting abilities. When criticism comes in it’s because the story wasn’t clear to that one person, or was one they could not identify with. Yes, it could also be from sloppy technical execution of the painting process for which I am responsible, but it is a criticism against the painting not myself as a human being.

My ego isn’t very big, yet I have enough self-esteem to believe I can succeed if I work hard enough. I know my work has value, yet I know there are so many others who are better. When I paint, although I might enjoy the end results and feel I conveyed the emotion of the story well, I know where the flaws are and what can be improved. There may be technical aspects I’m unsure of. Sometimes I will love a painting and others don’t think much of it. The opposite is true as well. I will hate a piece that the public seems to love. That is why it is so important for an artist to go beyond their own walls and expose their work to the criticism

The ego is a double-edged sword in art. An artist at once needs to believe in themselves and the work they are doing in order to promote it, and have the confidence to show it to others, but at the same time they need to separate themselves from the art to avoid total discouragement and quitting in disgust.

On the other end of the stick, is the danger of an artist becoming so full of themselves to the determinant of their own career.  Most stereotypes of artists are built around the big ego. This is the person that thinks they are a genius and every painting a masterpiece to be held up on a pedestal for all the world to see.

If I were to think like that what motivation would there be for me to learn, grow, and improve? The big ego would become stagnant and dull from a lack of growth.  They already believe themselves to be the best they could possibly be.

Instead my ego tells me there are many others better than me, and so lots more for me to learn. There are a lot more things for me to strive to achieve. Yet, the praise gives me the courage to cast a wider net and reach for some of those higher milestones that will propel my career forwards.  

Duende

Duende

(n.) a quality of passion and inspiration.

  • a spirit.

ORIGIN 1920s: from Spanish, contraction of duen de casa, from dueño de casa ‘owner of the house.’

In art Duende loosely means having soul, a heightened state of emotion, expression and authenticity, often connected with flamenco. The artistic and especially musical term was derived from the duende, a fairy or goblin-like creature in Spanish mythology.

I saw a posting going around Facebook which states Duende is the mysterious power of art to move a person. While the definition may not be quite correct it’s a wonderful sentiment. There should be a word for such a thing, shouldn’t there? 

As an artist that is the ultimate goal. To create work with soul, emotion, expression, and authenticity, which has a mysterious power to move another person. For as long as I live that is what I search for – that is the thing which I strive to create. Art is a continual process of learning, refining, experimentation, and play. 

What is it that keeps the artist going? It is the search for that magical something – that duende which is different for everyone. We want to inspire passion in not only ourselves, but others as well. We want our work to move a person. The ultimate feeling of satisfaction comes not from awards or accolades, but from the story from that one person who was spiritually moved by your work. The irony of it all, is that the artist will rarely know when they’ve achieve a work having duende until it is placed before the public.